1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,399 previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons. 2 00:00:02,399 --> 00:00:05,200 Hey, one sec there, Hilla. I don't know if you should really touch that gold. 3 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:08,240 It's too late. I am rubbing it all over my bodies. 4 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:10,800 Oh, you got some of the mushrooms. They're pretty tasty. 5 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,280 Now, you eat some of these. Were they, you feeling okay? 6 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,400 Yeah, they're pretty meaty. 7 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,599 Uh, I beat one. 8 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:18,879 Now you step out into a clearing and there is a hut. 9 00:00:18,879 --> 00:00:22,160 You see a skull shaped handle. 10 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:23,760 You got anything to say? 11 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,480 Find the code and break the curse. 12 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:30,640 So, Z-Y-E-D-A or? 13 00:00:31,359 --> 00:00:32,960 Or just Z-E-D. 14 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,200 The wind pours down on top of you. 15 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,880 Ah, it's a motherfucking witch! 16 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,640 Well, I'm just gonna keep kicking that door. 17 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,799 As you step in with the orb, you feel it pulling from your hand. 18 00:00:44,799 --> 00:00:48,560 Just watch in wonderment at the miracle that I'm witnessing. 19 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:54,400 The windmill begins to churn as she herself is pulled off of her broom 20 00:00:54,399 --> 00:00:56,719 and through the blades of the windmill, 21 00:00:56,719 --> 00:01:02,079 the darkness that has settled over this little village is lifted. 22 00:01:02,079 --> 00:01:05,759 You make it back to the caravan where your wagon is there 23 00:01:05,759 --> 00:01:08,000 and Winifred's wagon is there and she runs over to you 24 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,680 and she's like, where did you guys go? 25 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:14,079 Well, we were, it was golden. 26 00:01:14,079 --> 00:01:19,759 Well, Hillop wanted to go check out a town he heard about in a story one time, 27 00:01:19,759 --> 00:01:20,960 so we had to go have a look. 28 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:43,520 Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. 29 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,920 We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast 30 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:49,200 and I'm your dungeon master, Russ More, and with me today is Amy More. 31 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:51,280 Why you do that? 32 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,120 You saw me drinking. 33 00:01:54,079 --> 00:01:55,760 You saw me drinking coffee. 34 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:56,960 Introduce me first. 35 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:57,200 I did. 36 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:57,760 You're a doink. 37 00:01:58,400 --> 00:01:59,520 I'm Amy. 38 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:03,359 I play Sullivan Sleight, a halfling. 39 00:02:03,359 --> 00:02:05,520 No, son of a bitch. 40 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,200 A lightfoot halfling rogue. 41 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,520 And Carla Maxted. 42 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,240 That is me. 43 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:17,840 I play Norixius Akra aka Glim, a dragonborn pAlydin. 44 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,200 And Tom Laird. 45 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:19,920 That's me. 46 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:20,960 I play Moot. 47 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,560 He's a half-orc wild magic sorcerer. 48 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:29,200 And also with us today, a wonderful and special guest from the broadswords. 49 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,640 She's the she's the DM. 50 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:31,600 She's the producer. 51 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:33,520 She's ready. 52 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,879 It's Victoria Rogers. 53 00:02:35,439 --> 00:02:35,939 Hi. 54 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:42,080 I'm going to be playing Bombera, a human sorcerer. 55 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,280 It's very fancy. 56 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,280 I'm wiggling my eyebrows, listeners. 57 00:02:48,159 --> 00:02:49,039 It's very impressive. 58 00:02:49,039 --> 00:02:51,039 You can feel the eyebrow wiggle. 59 00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,840 Where you can see all of these eyebrow wiggles is over on Patreon. 60 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,319 Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. 61 00:02:58,319 --> 00:03:00,719 Where we also dedicate an episode to a patron. 62 00:03:00,719 --> 00:03:04,319 And today's patron is Kathy Sindelar. 63 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:12,400 And now, unless anybody has any other questions or anything before we're getting started. 64 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,120 Yeah, hold on. 65 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:13,759 I have something. 66 00:03:13,759 --> 00:03:14,719 How do you D&D? 67 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,240 Fuck it. 68 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:17,360 Let's play D&D. 69 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,000 We'll learn as we play, Amy. 70 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:22,719 Don't worry about it. 71 00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:24,159 We'll figure it out at some point. 72 00:03:24,159 --> 00:03:25,520 Episode 100 or something. 73 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:32,320 We open on a darkened shop. 74 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:38,960 The light is coming in through the curtains. 75 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:46,160 And we hear the sound of a person entering from a back area in this shop. 76 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:52,640 Bombera, what do you do when you go through your morning routine? 77 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:57,840 Yeah, so I live in the apartment upstairs. 78 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:06,000 And there is a rickety staircase that leads from the apartment down to my back room. 79 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,879 Usually what happens is as I'm descending the stairs, 80 00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:21,759 my cat Toby will make that the time that he decides I'm going to run around on the stairs. 81 00:04:21,759 --> 00:04:22,639 I trip. 82 00:04:23,519 --> 00:04:29,360 There is a handle specifically mounted on the wall for this occasion. 83 00:04:30,319 --> 00:04:31,600 I grab onto it. 84 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,480 Toby, go outside. 85 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,040 And then I open the back door. 86 00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:41,279 The cat runs out. 87 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:42,960 Close the door. 88 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:51,280 And then I go to the front to, you know, unshutter the windows. 89 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,800 Flip the closed sign to open. 90 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,760 Turn on some candles with a snap of my fingers. 91 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,760 And await my first customers. 92 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,760 As the room illuminates during this morning ritual that you have, 93 00:05:10,399 --> 00:05:17,120 uh, you look to a spot where, um, a very prized possession is. 94 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:21,360 And you notice that that item is now gone. 95 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:33,120 And behind it, scrawled on the wall in a greasy charcoal is the Rat King calls. 96 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:37,439 Do I know anything about the Rat King? 97 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:41,759 Make, make a check, make a history check. 98 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:48,160 So, okay, history, community knowledge, check, probably just an intelligence, 99 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:49,120 just intelligence. 100 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,160 How smart am I? 101 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:50,480 Yeah. 102 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,439 Um, above average. 103 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,319 Oh, it's the ampersand symbol. 104 00:05:58,319 --> 00:05:59,920 Oh, it's the ampersand symbol. 105 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,280 Oh, it's the ampersand symbol. 106 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,200 Oh, it's the ampersand symbol. 107 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,480 Oh, that's a natural 20. 108 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:08,160 Are you rolling with your fancy heavy? 109 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,360 Yes, I am. 110 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,400 It was the first time I rolled a nat 20 on it. 111 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,720 So I was very confused as to what that meant. 112 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:15,220 Okay. 113 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,600 It's going to be a good game then. 114 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,720 It's going to be great. 115 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:18,960 Yeah. 116 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:23,680 You know exactly who, well, you, you've heard, uh, stories kind of going 117 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:28,480 through the shop keeps in the, throughout the dock ward that there's, um, a new 118 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:36,720 underground syndicate of sorts that is trying to make their way within water deep. 119 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:43,439 They've kind of come in on some, uh, water deep is, let's catch you up with where water deep is. 120 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:51,520 Um, we are just post rise of Tiamat, so there is, there are lots of people 121 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:55,360 who have kind of flocked to water deep, escaping the cult of the dragon. 122 00:06:56,240 --> 00:07:02,800 So the rat king and his followers have come to water deep on, on barges and ships and kind 123 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:08,639 of snuck into water deep and are now trying to enforce rule on the dock ward. 124 00:07:08,639 --> 00:07:10,800 They're trying to state claim to that. 125 00:07:11,439 --> 00:07:15,600 Could they be any more like cliche rats on a dock? 126 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,759 Come on, you guys get creative. 127 00:07:17,759 --> 00:07:19,600 When I write this in 24 hours, no. 128 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,680 Lean on those tropes, Russ. 129 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:24,400 You got it. 130 00:07:25,439 --> 00:07:25,920 Okay. 131 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:31,759 So it's, they're, they're a new, a new, new thugs in town. 132 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:33,600 New thugs. 133 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:34,800 Yeah, that's a good description. 134 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:35,300 Okay. 135 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,400 Oh, bloody hells. 136 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,480 We cut to, um, about that time in the morning. 137 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:53,199 You three, Moot, Glim and Sully are wandering through the streets of water deep. 138 00:07:53,199 --> 00:07:59,120 You arrived with Hillop approximately a week prior to this point. 139 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:04,319 What have you three been doing either together or on your own 140 00:08:04,319 --> 00:08:07,039 while you've been getting used to the city? 141 00:08:09,839 --> 00:08:14,159 Well, I think Sully's probably been wandering around talking up a lot of the different shop 142 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:21,600 keepers and like people at stands and markets, um, really playing up this, uh, 143 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:29,280 adventure in the woods about how he single-handedly saved, um, this entire town. 144 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,240 And then the lighthouse, he doesn't tell it well. 145 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:39,279 Um, he can't quite remember all the details, especially by saying there's a lighthouse. 146 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,279 Uh, yeah, there was a lighthouse. 147 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:42,500 Nope. 148 00:08:44,319 --> 00:08:45,039 I mean, there was a windmill. 149 00:08:45,039 --> 00:08:45,759 Oh, God damn it. 150 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:46,559 It was a windmill. 151 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,319 Also a tall cylindrical building. 152 00:08:49,759 --> 00:08:50,559 So close though. 153 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:52,719 It was a lighthouse in the middle of the woods. 154 00:08:52,719 --> 00:08:54,159 I was so confident. 155 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:54,719 For some reason. 156 00:08:54,719 --> 00:08:56,079 God, I need to die on the back. 157 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,959 Something happened maybe somewhere. 158 00:08:58,959 --> 00:09:00,639 There could have been trees. 159 00:09:00,639 --> 00:09:02,000 I shot Hillop in the leg. 160 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:03,860 Shoulder. 161 00:09:06,799 --> 00:09:10,000 Guys, it's too early for this shit. 162 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,120 This is Sully, right? 163 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,279 It's a different story everywhere he goes. 164 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:14,799 He shot him in the eye. 165 00:09:14,799 --> 00:09:16,159 He now wears an eye patch. 166 00:09:16,159 --> 00:09:17,679 He shot him in the leg. 167 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:18,959 He has a wooden leg now. 168 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,559 He shot him in the shoulder. 169 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,000 First there's a windmill. 170 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,759 Then it's the Eiffel Tower. 171 00:09:23,759 --> 00:09:25,600 That doesn't exist here, but it does now. 172 00:09:26,159 --> 00:09:28,480 And then there's, there's a lighthouse. 173 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,279 And nobody knows what's happening. 174 00:09:29,279 --> 00:09:32,879 Over breakfast one morning, does he, does he start to tell Hillop the story? 175 00:09:32,879 --> 00:09:34,879 Because he's just so used to telling it to everyone. 176 00:09:34,879 --> 00:09:35,360 Oh, yes. 177 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:35,679 Yeah. 178 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:35,919 Yeah. 179 00:09:35,919 --> 00:09:36,959 That's very good. 180 00:09:36,959 --> 00:09:37,600 Yeah. 181 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,240 I remember the time I shot you in the, in the leg. 182 00:09:40,879 --> 00:09:42,159 You fell down those stairs. 183 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:45,199 Oh, that's, that's why I fell down the stairs. 184 00:09:45,199 --> 00:09:49,759 I thought this was because the dragon lady, she dropped it and I went all the way down. 185 00:09:51,039 --> 00:09:52,399 Yeah, that does sound like Glim. 186 00:09:55,039 --> 00:09:56,719 He doesn't remember very many things. 187 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,240 And how about Glim and Moot? 188 00:10:01,839 --> 00:10:06,000 So Glim has continued the thing she started when they were on the road, 189 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,079 teaching a fun Zumba class every morning. 190 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:08,480 What? 191 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:14,400 Just to get, get her blood pumping and finds like more and more people like start coming. 192 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:18,320 At first it was just a few folks from the caravan that like already had been a part of it, 193 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,560 but more and more people started coming. 194 00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:24,000 And of course she manages to mention like at least once per day 195 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:28,560 in class about how, you know, she's going to save the world and she has a destiny. 196 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:29,600 Have you heard of Bahamut? 197 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,120 Letting everybody know the good news of Bahamut. 198 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:39,679 How do you feel about doing a cut scene where I just have some pump up jams 199 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:43,519 and you're doing a routine where you're, you're spouting, you're spouting Bahamut? 200 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,879 Uh, sure. 201 00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:49,600 Spinning some Bahamut, good news. 202 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,279 Just, just spouting the Bahamut. 203 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:55,600 Good morning, everyone. Thanks for joining me for Zumba. 204 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,159 We're going to work out, do some fun moves, 205 00:10:58,159 --> 00:11:01,759 and I'm going to tell you about a real cool platinum dragon named Bahamut. 206 00:11:02,399 --> 00:11:05,919 First move, going to take your right foot, tap it out and in. 207 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:07,840 Yeah, keep doing that. 208 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,879 Now let's switch left and out and in. 209 00:11:11,519 --> 00:11:13,759 Back and forth, out and in. 210 00:11:13,759 --> 00:11:14,480 Keep that going. 211 00:11:15,279 --> 00:11:17,600 Bahamut, he loves you so much. 212 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:18,559 He's all about good. 213 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:19,679 He's all about love. 214 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:25,759 He just wants you to work, to help yourself like you're doing right now. 215 00:11:25,759 --> 00:11:28,879 Okay, now we're going to start moving back and forth. 216 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:36,879 Um, and, um, the elephant in the room, how was your, uh, 217 00:11:36,879 --> 00:11:39,519 how was your luscious mane now? 218 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,720 Oh God, I forgot about my beard. 219 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:50,480 Um, I mean, just for character art reasons, 220 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,439 I want to say I shaved it and it didn't grow back. 221 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:54,960 But it did. 222 00:11:55,360 --> 00:12:02,960 Okay, then I guess I shaved it and it grew back. 223 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,120 And you've continued to shave it since. 224 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:08,400 Now, does she just have to shave it every day, like a regular beard, 225 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:12,400 or is it a Tim Allen situation where she shaves it off and it grows back immediately? 226 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,200 Yes, that one. 227 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:17,360 That's what I was picturing, like I shave it, then it's definitely a real Santa Claus here. 228 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:22,960 It's definitely, you've kind of come to the end through talking with a few people in passing. 229 00:12:23,519 --> 00:12:28,080 It could very well be a curse that is now befalling your face. 230 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:30,160 Okay. 231 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,920 A specific face curse. 232 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,200 Your face be cursed. 233 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:40,720 Perhaps throughout your conversations, you've found that there is a magic shop owner 234 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:47,360 down in the dock wards who may or may not have an affordable solution to your problem. 235 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:52,720 The shop in question is Bubbles and Such. 236 00:12:53,759 --> 00:12:55,759 Hey, I hear that down at Bubbles and Such, 237 00:12:55,759 --> 00:13:02,080 there's this anti-weird beard kind of elixir you can get for your situation, Glim. 238 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:07,519 Yeah, you know, I sort of like it on one hand. 239 00:13:07,519 --> 00:13:12,960 It's fun to feel like a different person, but I don't know, it's so sweaty. 240 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:16,720 Like, I mean, doing the Zumba every morning and I'm sweating and it's just, 241 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:17,840 I don't know how people live with these things. 242 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:18,960 Oh yeah, sweaty beard, it's no good. 243 00:13:20,879 --> 00:13:23,759 And how about Moot? What's Moot been up to? 244 00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:25,120 Sweaty hands! 245 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:31,920 Moot has discovered bakeries since they've been in town and he drags anyone who will 246 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:36,639 go with him to every bakery that he can find, especially the Elvish bakeries. 247 00:13:36,639 --> 00:13:38,399 They have the best apple turnovers. 248 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:40,800 And what is your favorite bakery? 249 00:13:41,519 --> 00:13:43,120 Ooh, that's a good question. 250 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,960 Probably, I need a good Elvish sounding bakery. 251 00:13:48,879 --> 00:13:51,759 I'm gonna say the Sun and Stars Bakery. 252 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:53,519 Got it. 253 00:13:53,519 --> 00:13:54,320 Affordable prices? 254 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,879 No, but it's the best one in town, so. 255 00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,399 Well, fair enough. You pay for quality. 256 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,120 Okay, so you've been there for about a week. 257 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,960 How many times have you been to the Sun and Stars? 258 00:14:03,519 --> 00:14:05,840 Only twice, because I need to ration out my money. 259 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,240 Sure, okay. 260 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:12,159 So we'll say you're probably down like ten gold with all of the bakeries visiting you. 261 00:14:12,159 --> 00:14:15,039 Oh yeah, he's put on like a solid ten pounds since he's been there. 262 00:14:16,079 --> 00:14:16,639 I like it. 263 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:23,439 So you three are together, you're walking through the streets trying to find baubles and such. 264 00:14:25,839 --> 00:14:28,159 Oh look, I found, no wait, that's bottles and such. 265 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,240 That was really close though. 266 00:14:31,439 --> 00:14:32,000 So close. 267 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,360 I think I might need to get glasses. 268 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,759 I think we have to go a little bit closer down. 269 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,039 Maybe, let's try down around this corner. 270 00:14:39,039 --> 00:14:40,319 Are there any people around us? 271 00:14:40,319 --> 00:14:42,879 It's early in the morning, I assume. The shop's just opening. 272 00:14:42,879 --> 00:14:53,519 It is early in the morning. You're in the dock ward, so there's lots of people kind of moving to and from, moving cargo in and out of ships, but yes, there are many people, if you wanted to stop somebody. 273 00:14:55,039 --> 00:14:57,360 Uh, hello. Hello, kind sir. 274 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,959 Yeah. Yeah, what can I do for you? 275 00:15:00,079 --> 00:15:02,399 Uh, I'm looking to get rid of my glasses. 276 00:15:02,399 --> 00:15:07,039 Here, just let me put down, hold on, hold on, just let me put down this super heavy casket I'm carrying. 277 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,559 Is it cask or casket? 278 00:15:12,559 --> 00:15:15,199 I said casket, but I meant cask. 279 00:15:16,879 --> 00:15:18,480 Okay, I was like, is there a dead body in there? 280 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:22,639 She's quite traditional. I don't think she would have stopped a funeral procession. 281 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,360 Excuse me, you guys, I have a question. 282 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:26,480 There's four pallbearers. 283 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,639 Let me just walk with you for a minute. 284 00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:33,120 I mean, it might be pickled, I don't know. 285 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,879 I'll just put this down anyways. 286 00:15:34,879 --> 00:15:37,439 What can I help you with there, my bearded dragon friend? 287 00:15:37,439 --> 00:15:38,720 My beard? I mean, my deer? 288 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,320 My beard, my deer. 289 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,159 Yes, it's about the beard. 290 00:15:44,159 --> 00:15:44,799 Right. 291 00:15:44,799 --> 00:15:50,960 So, we were in the woods and we ran into a, you know, it's sort of a long story, 292 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,000 but the bottom line is I have this beard and I kind of want to get rid of it, 293 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,720 but although like I kind of like it, I don't want to disparage people with beards. 294 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:57,600 It's just, I don't really know. 295 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:04,399 Like, anyway, after she probably like gets an elbow from Mood or Sully. 296 00:16:04,399 --> 00:16:05,759 This goes on for eight to ten minutes. 297 00:16:05,759 --> 00:16:06,960 So, you're looking for a barber? 298 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:07,440 Odds are. 299 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,519 Not a barber. 300 00:16:09,519 --> 00:16:13,920 I heard about a shop where they might have an anti-weird beard. 301 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:15,759 Anti-weird beard. 302 00:16:15,759 --> 00:16:19,519 Or lotion, or so, baubles and such. 303 00:16:19,519 --> 00:16:22,000 Oh, yeah, why didn't you just say that off the top there? 304 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000 We could have saved this whole conversation. 305 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,279 Baubles and such is down. 306 00:16:25,279 --> 00:16:29,039 You go around the corner, take three lefts, and it's over there. 307 00:16:31,679 --> 00:16:32,319 Wait, wait a minute. 308 00:16:32,319 --> 00:16:36,319 If we take three lefts, can we just cut straight through this alleyway right there 309 00:16:36,319 --> 00:16:38,000 and save ourselves like 15 minutes? 310 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,919 I mean, you could, but I'm going that way. 311 00:16:39,919 --> 00:16:43,839 So, I was hoping to send you down and around. 312 00:16:43,839 --> 00:16:44,799 No, yeah, I totally get it. 313 00:16:44,799 --> 00:16:48,879 Give me time to take my cask down this street here. 314 00:16:49,679 --> 00:16:50,959 You really pickle dead people. 315 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:52,720 I don't know what you're talking about. 316 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:59,120 Well, thank you, sir. 317 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,320 It's been lovely to meet you. 318 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,000 I hope maybe we'll run into each other again. 319 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,279 Have you been in water deep longer? 320 00:17:07,839 --> 00:17:11,200 So, you make three left turns or you cut down whichever way. 321 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,480 You make it to the outside of baubles and such. 322 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,000 And when they make it to baubles and such, 323 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,640 what do they see of the face of the shop? 324 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:26,880 The face of the shop is it has a bow window in the front with panes. 325 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,240 You know, it's paned glass. 326 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:35,440 In the window, you see there's a table with velvet draped over it. 327 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,320 And there's trinkets. 328 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,560 There's amulets and things. 329 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:45,280 A dagger artfully placed and displayed. 330 00:17:45,279 --> 00:17:49,839 And there is a wooden sign hanging over the front door. 331 00:17:49,839 --> 00:17:52,639 And it swings in a slight breeze. 332 00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:56,160 And it is green with gold lettering on it. 333 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,839 Baubles and such. 334 00:18:00,399 --> 00:18:02,639 Well, this looks like a fancy establishment. 335 00:18:02,639 --> 00:18:03,920 I'm going to go in and touch stuff. 336 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,359 You can always tell the fancy ones because they don't use the ampersand. 337 00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:11,759 They actually put the word and on their signs. 338 00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:14,160 Well, yeah, I thought it was baubles and such. 339 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:15,519 It's baubles and such. 340 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,200 You got to pay per letter for a sign painter. 341 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,880 So this must be a fancy shop. 342 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:21,440 You're right. 343 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:22,560 Brought your gold. 344 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,840 I mean, I've been spending a lot of it, but we'll see. 345 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,560 And we go in. 346 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:37,920 Well, there is a bell and it goes ding ding as you walk in. 347 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,440 And do we see you right away? 348 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,720 Yeah, I am seated behind the counter. 349 00:18:45,519 --> 00:18:49,440 You see a woman with brown hair. 350 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,279 It's pulled back into a loose bun. 351 00:18:53,279 --> 00:18:56,880 There are some streaks of gray around the temples leaning back. 352 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:02,720 Wearing some just sensible clothes. 353 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:05,440 Kind of no nonsense. 354 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:10,799 Just tunic and breeches and some boots. 355 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,799 And I'm reading a book. 356 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:16,559 I like it. 357 00:19:16,559 --> 00:19:18,480 Suddenly strides in here like he owns the place. 358 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:28,960 Yeah, the place is full of glittering things and there's a whole wall of weapons 359 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,840 and there is a wall of scrolls. 360 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:37,039 And that wall, the wall of scrolls is behind the counter. 361 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,960 I go to the glittery things. 362 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:42,880 Oh, instantly. 363 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:47,680 What about you, Moot? 364 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,640 I'm going to check out these scrolls just like from a distance. 365 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,240 They look so ornate. 366 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:57,360 I just picture Moot like walking up to where Bumpera is standing, 367 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,680 just kind of like looking over without saying anything. 368 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,519 Like real slow and awkward about it too. 369 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:08,880 Good morning. 370 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:09,680 Good morning, ma'am. 371 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,160 Oh, hello. 372 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,440 Good morning, good morning. 373 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:20,799 She looks around the room or her area for something that she can use as a bookmark 374 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,680 and she grabs like a receipt or something, 375 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:27,360 the first thing that she sees and like shoves it in there, sets her book aside. 376 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,519 Welcome, welcome. 377 00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:31,279 What can I do for you? 378 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:37,279 Well, and I launch into the whole story about what happened in the woods 379 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:39,599 and end with. 380 00:20:39,599 --> 00:20:43,039 So when I tried to shave the beard off, it just grew back, 381 00:20:43,839 --> 00:20:45,440 didn't even grow back, just, you know, 382 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:50,240 appeared back full and bushy and beautiful like you see it right now. 383 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:58,000 So I think it might be, I don't know, a spell or a curse or it's not a natural beard. 384 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,759 But maybe you might have something to help with that. 385 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,240 Some folks said this was the place to come. 386 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,079 Oh, yes. 387 00:21:04,079 --> 00:21:06,319 Well, hmm, yes. 388 00:21:06,879 --> 00:21:10,720 I mean, I wasn't going to say anything because that's rude, 389 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:15,679 but generally you don't see a dragon board with such a luscious beard. 390 00:21:16,399 --> 00:21:17,039 Not usually. 391 00:21:17,039 --> 00:21:19,279 We don't even have hair follicles on our face. 392 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:20,480 It's amazing. 393 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,919 Yeah, yeah, this is, yeah, this is so easy. 394 00:21:23,919 --> 00:21:27,679 Definitely probably magic. 395 00:21:27,679 --> 00:21:31,119 Let me just consult something here. 396 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,480 And then she, she goes off and starts like flipping through books, 397 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:41,040 which is code for me looking at my character sheet. 398 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:46,640 While you're doing that, I assume, I only assume, 399 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,760 and you can tell me if I'm wrong, but Bomber would have tried to wipe away 400 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:54,000 the racking call sign there and like char on the wall. 401 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,680 No, no, I've left it. 402 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:56,240 Okay, perfect. 403 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,840 Because I want the watch to see it. 404 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:00,340 Okay. 405 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,840 So the three of you, well, boss. 406 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,640 Shuri, is that on the baubles and sparkly side of things 407 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:07,920 or is that by the weapons? 408 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,280 Where was the priceless object and the scrawl? 409 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:17,360 It would have been in between the weapons and the sparkly things. 410 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:23,680 Sully is picking up like little like trinkets and like vials filled with stuff 411 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:30,080 and like smelling them and like really having just a very tactile experience at this store. 412 00:22:30,079 --> 00:22:34,799 He's so enraptured with the different colors and mumbling different things to himself. 413 00:22:34,799 --> 00:22:36,000 Like, well, this one's sparkly. 414 00:22:38,159 --> 00:22:39,759 That's no good, but it looks so good. 415 00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:40,399 Oh, God. 416 00:22:40,399 --> 00:22:42,480 And I keep moving my way along the wall. 417 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,399 Make your perception check as you're doing it. 418 00:22:46,159 --> 00:22:49,359 It's a minus one. 419 00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:51,759 This is so opposite the 11. 420 00:22:51,759 --> 00:22:53,919 I mean, it's pretty obvious. 421 00:22:53,919 --> 00:22:56,159 As you come to it, you look up, you see it. 422 00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:01,519 The Rat King calls in like this greasy black charcoal all over the wall. 423 00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:04,960 For now, I look at it and I'm like, 424 00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:11,200 and I keep looking at stuff for the moment. 425 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:16,960 So I think that I am also like, while I wait, kind of looking at things, 426 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,519 maybe there's, and tell me if I'm wrong, 427 00:23:19,519 --> 00:23:22,720 maybe there's a small section with like some religious iconography. 428 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,360 That's probably where I make a real beeline for it. 429 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:26,800 Just to see. 430 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:31,280 Always on the lookout for something for my main dude, Bahamut, 431 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:32,720 that I might add to my collection. 432 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,320 So I'm sort of looking in that area. 433 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,720 I imagine you with a keychain 434 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:44,800 that just has like a ridiculous amount of like Bahamut, like trinkets. 435 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,800 Like 10 or 12 different items. 436 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,480 Totems, different like leathers, scripted. 437 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,720 Like it's getting out of hand and moot and selling mean to talk to you about it. 438 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,520 Ah, yes, yes. 439 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:04,480 So I think I do have something that could help, maybe. 440 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,400 Not really sure. 441 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:11,680 Because unless I'm told by someone of, you know, 442 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,720 clerical persuasion that this is indeed a curse, 443 00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:19,440 I mean, I can't be 100% sure here. 444 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:22,560 Right, right. 445 00:24:22,559 --> 00:24:25,279 Okay, well, I mean, I'm sort of willing to try anything. 446 00:24:25,279 --> 00:24:27,039 I teach these Zumba classes in the morning 447 00:24:27,039 --> 00:24:30,559 and this beard is so hot and sweaty and I just, 448 00:24:30,559 --> 00:24:31,679 it's just too much for me. 449 00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:33,519 I'd rather not have it anymore. 450 00:24:33,519 --> 00:24:37,440 Oh, you know, that's, you might want to donate that hair. 451 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,799 Oh, I hadn't thought about that. 452 00:24:40,799 --> 00:24:41,299 Yeah. 453 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,000 And that would be donated for? 454 00:24:46,159 --> 00:24:46,720 Wigs. 455 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,440 Wigs for underprivileged orphans. 456 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,480 Yeah, that's a great idea. 457 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:55,759 They can't grow their own beards. 458 00:24:55,759 --> 00:24:57,680 Bald orphans need my beard hair. 459 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:06,880 Okay, so I've got this scroll here and she climbs up onto a step stool 460 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:11,440 because she's not super tall at all, about like 5'4". 461 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:15,759 And she reaches up and pulls a couple out. 462 00:25:15,759 --> 00:25:17,279 And then as she's pulling them out, 463 00:25:17,279 --> 00:25:19,680 because she's pulling them from above her head, 464 00:25:19,759 --> 00:25:22,320 a few fall out and kind of like hit her in the face. 465 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:23,600 And she's like sneezing. 466 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,080 I really should dust up there. 467 00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:33,120 And then she's like, okay, here you go. 468 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,920 This here is a scroll of lesser restoration. 469 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,960 And do I just, do I read it? 470 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,200 Do I get a magic user to read it? 471 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:48,559 Oh, yeah, you. 472 00:25:48,559 --> 00:25:52,000 My friend Mood is kind of good at that sometimes. 473 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,519 No, you can, you can, I mean, you can have someone else do it. 474 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:57,920 But you could do it. 475 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,160 That's the beauty of scrolls. 476 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,640 That there scroll is 40 gold pieces. 477 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,759 Oh, okay. 478 00:26:07,759 --> 00:26:09,519 Well, hold on. 479 00:26:09,519 --> 00:26:10,880 I forget how much money I have. 480 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,400 We have never really played this. 481 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:13,759 I might not have even written it down. 482 00:26:13,759 --> 00:26:18,079 She pulls 40 gold coins out of her bag. 483 00:26:18,079 --> 00:26:18,799 Yeah, there we go. 484 00:26:19,519 --> 00:26:20,319 Exactly. 485 00:26:20,319 --> 00:26:21,599 That's how we play with money. 486 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,599 I think you all got, like you split like three or 400 gold. 487 00:26:27,599 --> 00:26:30,319 Well, we did just find a treasure chest. 488 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:31,440 That's right. 489 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:31,920 We rich. 490 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:32,799 We've got money. 491 00:26:32,799 --> 00:26:35,039 Except for Moot, who's eaten all of his gold. 492 00:26:36,079 --> 00:26:39,279 Write down the fact that you had 100 gold each to start. 493 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,000 Moot's eating it. 494 00:26:42,799 --> 00:26:45,200 Just turning it into food. 495 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,839 I've probably been giving mine away also 496 00:26:47,839 --> 00:26:51,839 to like any random person who looks to be in need. 497 00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,359 Then you tell me how much money you have. 498 00:26:57,759 --> 00:27:00,799 I think I would have broken it down smaller, maybe. 499 00:27:00,799 --> 00:27:04,799 Like a gold seems like quite a bit of money, right? 500 00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:06,880 To hand out to random people? 501 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,000 Yeah, probably. 502 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,279 Yeah, yeah. 503 00:27:09,279 --> 00:27:13,839 And I like that because all altruism is like a little bit selfish 504 00:27:13,839 --> 00:27:15,119 because it makes you feel good. 505 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:16,720 So you're getting something out of it. 506 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,200 I probably like broke it down into silvers or something. 507 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,039 So I could keep that feeling going. 508 00:27:21,039 --> 00:27:23,440 It just like keep giving to more and more people. 509 00:27:24,399 --> 00:27:27,519 But yes, I give Bombera the 40 gold. 510 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:28,960 Thank you. 511 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:29,519 Thank you. 512 00:27:30,559 --> 00:27:31,599 Hope that works. 513 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:33,279 Me too. 514 00:27:33,279 --> 00:27:35,119 Did you give it to her in silvers? 515 00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,279 Like, did you give her like dimes? 516 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,440 No, I had still had some solid gold pieces. 517 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,759 You're going to say here's just 400 silver pieces. 518 00:27:44,319 --> 00:27:48,079 I have like a pocket for like my charity pocket 519 00:27:48,079 --> 00:27:49,920 and then my spending pocket. 520 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,519 You're wearing cargo pants, aren't you? 521 00:27:51,519 --> 00:27:53,839 Yeah, cargo pants of holding. 522 00:27:54,559 --> 00:28:02,399 I almost would picture more like I have a lot of like leather belts and things. 523 00:28:02,399 --> 00:28:06,160 Yeah, so like a couple of those like flat kind of fanny packy ones 524 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,640 that's like a utility belt kind of. 525 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,000 But then some around my legs. 526 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,000 Like there's just I got a lot of belts. 527 00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:15,120 Lots of secret pockets. 528 00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:18,960 Sully at different points has hidden things in different pockets 529 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,160 and you still haven't found them yet. 530 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:22,800 That sounds right. 531 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,120 It's not where I thought you were going. 532 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:27,120 That's right. 533 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:28,000 Keeping on your toes. 534 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,160 Moot comes over after he sees you get the scroll. 535 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,880 He says, oh, do you do you know like how do we use this? 536 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,160 I think I just have to read it. 537 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,120 Oh, okay. 538 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:40,000 Just read it. 539 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,880 And there's some hand symbols there. 540 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,200 Just make sure you do the hand symbols. 541 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:48,960 It's pictographed right there along the bottom of the scroll. 542 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,240 I come up and I pop up and I look at the scroll 543 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,000 and I point to when I'm like that one looks dirty. 544 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,040 Moot and Glim make a perception check 545 00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:01,600 because you're looking at these hand gestures. 546 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,000 Uh, that is let me go to my bonuses. 547 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,519 There's like a thumbs up. 548 00:29:05,519 --> 00:29:06,079 I rolled a one. 549 00:29:06,079 --> 00:29:07,200 And a thumbs down. 550 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:08,720 Oh, it's just a straight up seven. 551 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,359 And then, yeah. 552 00:29:12,319 --> 00:29:13,359 We're very focused on the scroll. 553 00:29:13,359 --> 00:29:14,720 You're very focused on the scroll. 554 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:22,799 By the way, did any of you see any of the guard out and about yet? 555 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:25,759 No, we didn't. 556 00:29:25,759 --> 00:29:26,799 We didn't see anyone. 557 00:29:26,799 --> 00:29:27,440 I feel like they. 558 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,200 Maybe they slept in today. 559 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,720 It sort of seems like they get a later start. 560 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:33,680 They work real late. 561 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:34,160 I don't know. 562 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:35,840 We didn't see anyone this morning, though. 563 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:36,080 Yeah. 564 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:36,640 You know what? 565 00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:42,880 I sent Theobald off to the City Watch like an hour ago 566 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:44,320 and no one has shown up. 567 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,840 Well, they're probably really scared about this like rat king 568 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:50,880 that apparently called you. 569 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:52,560 Yeah. 570 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:53,200 Yeah. 571 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:54,480 They stole it. 572 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,039 They stole my wand of smiles. 573 00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:58,400 I'm sorry. 574 00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:58,720 You're what? 575 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,799 Does the wand make people what? 576 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,200 It makes you smile when you hold it. 577 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,080 Yeah, it's I love that thing. 578 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,240 It's been in my family for ages. 579 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:13,360 And do you know all of your customers love you when you can make them smile? 580 00:30:14,559 --> 00:30:16,000 You're like, force them to smile. 581 00:30:17,039 --> 00:30:18,319 You're like, have a good day. 582 00:30:21,279 --> 00:30:23,440 Yeah, you know, it's highly effective. 583 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,160 Customer satisfaction guaranteed. 584 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,240 Well, how are you going to make people smile now? 585 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:33,600 I don't know. 586 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:35,519 I just I don't know. 587 00:30:35,519 --> 00:30:37,840 Never like good customer service or something. 588 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,400 I've never, you know, I've never been without it. 589 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:53,279 Welcome to the middle. 590 00:30:53,279 --> 00:30:53,840 You're here. 591 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,799 So you're halfway through the episode. 592 00:30:56,799 --> 00:30:59,279 So you should listen to us a little more 593 00:30:59,279 --> 00:31:02,400 because that's how this thing works called podcasting. 594 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,840 I love how you explained podcasting. 595 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:11,039 I know it became very interesting to listen to explain what this part was. 596 00:31:11,039 --> 00:31:13,840 And then you got very meta and explain podcasts. 597 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:16,000 I like it. 598 00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:19,600 And can someone else jump in explaining songs? 599 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,559 I am not the one to explain songs. 600 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:30,160 You string together a harmony of notes and you sing and talk and riff and stuff until 601 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:34,720 sometimes somebody cuts you off with what's going on because that's the melody. 602 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:36,800 There it is. 603 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:43,040 No, I don't want it to correct you in saying it's not a harmony of notes. 604 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:44,160 You're singing a melody. 605 00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:52,960 If you want to see this exactly, you want to see this magic happen live. 606 00:31:53,519 --> 00:31:58,480 It could happen if you're in Edmonton this Saturday, September 21st, 607 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,039 1245 Edmonton Expo. 608 00:32:01,039 --> 00:32:04,880 Us four dum-dums are going to sit on a stage, play some D&D. 609 00:32:05,599 --> 00:32:07,839 Room 105 or 106. 610 00:32:07,839 --> 00:32:08,720 Could be either. 611 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:09,680 Follow the signs. 612 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,519 We'll keep you guessing till the last minute. 613 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:13,759 Or until you walk down the hallway. 614 00:32:13,759 --> 00:32:15,839 Yeah, until we know for sure and then we'll let you know. 615 00:32:15,839 --> 00:32:16,880 Yeah, that's right. 616 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,200 But yeah, it could be either of those. 617 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:19,519 But yeah, we're playing a live show. 618 00:32:19,519 --> 00:32:20,559 I'll sign boobs. 619 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,480 No, it's a family show. 620 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:23,039 It's a family event. 621 00:32:25,039 --> 00:32:26,079 Challenge number one. 622 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:28,400 We all have to make it to Edmonton. 623 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:29,200 That should be fine. 624 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:29,839 Okay. 625 00:32:29,839 --> 00:32:30,880 Challenge number two. 626 00:32:32,079 --> 00:32:33,200 We're not allowed to swear. 627 00:32:33,839 --> 00:32:35,440 That seems problematic. 628 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:36,400 Problem number three. 629 00:32:38,079 --> 00:32:39,920 We have to be 45 minutes or less. 630 00:32:41,519 --> 00:32:45,039 There are a lot of challenges that lay in our way. 631 00:32:45,039 --> 00:32:46,000 And it's going to be fun. 632 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:46,640 We're going to do it. 633 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:47,279 It is. 634 00:32:47,279 --> 00:32:50,160 Also, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. 635 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,440 For those of you who aren't quite sure where this is, 636 00:32:53,519 --> 00:32:58,720 and if you want to make a special, special trip up to the frigid north. 637 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,080 It's not that frigid right now. 638 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:06,240 But just to see your favorite podcasters for 45 minutes. 639 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:07,519 Sounds like a winning combination. 640 00:33:07,519 --> 00:33:08,640 That'd be pretty great if you did that. 641 00:33:09,759 --> 00:33:12,799 Hey, I would hang out with you for like a good hour after the show. 642 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,480 If you show me a plane ticket, like I came all the way from Houston. 643 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,559 I'd be like, let's get some fucking beers. 644 00:33:18,559 --> 00:33:22,960 You would have to wait till after the 45 minutes is up to say that F word. 645 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:23,680 Yes. 646 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:24,160 Yes. 647 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:24,480 Yeah. 648 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,799 We got to be out in the hall, like around the corner down the street. 649 00:33:26,799 --> 00:33:28,400 Not within earshot of children. 650 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:29,840 Yeah, no, no. 651 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:31,360 But yes, family friendly event. 652 00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,559 All people, all kids, all whatever are invited. 653 00:33:34,559 --> 00:33:38,720 It'd be great if you guys were there and that audio we will release. 654 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,279 And then I suspect we haven't really talked about this, 655 00:33:41,279 --> 00:33:46,160 but I'm going to assume we're probably going to play together in real life. 656 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:50,000 Not just that game, because we'll all be together all weekend. 657 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:50,799 Maybe. 658 00:33:50,799 --> 00:33:54,799 Live show Edmonton Expo, Saturday, September 21st at 1245. 659 00:33:54,799 --> 00:33:56,159 It's free with admission. 660 00:33:58,799 --> 00:34:00,240 That's funny that you did that. 661 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:00,960 To the expo. 662 00:34:01,519 --> 00:34:02,720 Hope to see you there. 663 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:04,720 Please, please come if you're in the area. 664 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:05,839 We'd love to see you. 665 00:34:05,839 --> 00:34:06,159 Yeah. 666 00:34:06,159 --> 00:34:08,639 Okay, back to that episode. 667 00:34:08,639 --> 00:34:09,199 Enjoy it. 668 00:34:09,759 --> 00:34:10,320 You got it. 669 00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:10,880 Breathe it in. 670 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:19,279 What's a fucking creepy way to end an interlude. 671 00:34:19,279 --> 00:34:19,779 Yeah. 672 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:21,700 Wow. 673 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:28,320 Rashomon, a land where spirits roam and witches rule. 674 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:37,200 Three women are embroiled in a divine plot and it is up to them to uncover why. 675 00:34:38,720 --> 00:34:43,440 Join the adventures of the broadswords at the broadswords.com. 676 00:34:45,519 --> 00:34:49,440 The door chimes and an exasperated Theobald runs back in. 677 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:51,840 I feel sick. 678 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,920 If he had your beard, he would be so sweaty right now. 679 00:34:58,720 --> 00:34:59,200 It's true. 680 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:00,960 Nice beard. 681 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,760 I went and checked with the city watch. 682 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:13,440 They're very, they tell me busy with this whole ceremony thing going on with the 683 00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:18,080 the pyres and this celebration of winning. 684 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:20,240 They'll be down later. 685 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,120 Are you gonna vom? 686 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:24,560 Yeah, it's a long run. 687 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:26,320 Thank you, Theobald. 688 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:26,720 Thank you. 689 00:35:26,720 --> 00:35:30,880 You know, there's some stuff upstairs if you want something to eat. 690 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:32,240 Okay, thank you. 691 00:35:32,240 --> 00:35:34,880 I'll just, the cat's outside. 692 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:36,160 I don't have to worry about tripping. 693 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:38,080 No, Toby's outside. 694 00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:38,960 Okay, perfect. 695 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:40,560 I'll be upstairs. 696 00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:41,280 You have a cat? 697 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,120 Yeah, I do. 698 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:49,039 I start to, he looks around even though he just heard you say that the cat's outside. 699 00:35:49,679 --> 00:35:53,039 With a store like this and a bunch of things on a bunch of shelves, 700 00:35:53,039 --> 00:35:54,960 isn't having a cat a bad idea? 701 00:35:56,079 --> 00:36:00,880 That is why there is a door separating the back to the front. 702 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:01,599 That makes sense. 703 00:36:02,559 --> 00:36:05,279 Yes, learned that the hard way. 704 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,239 So who do you think this Rat King is? 705 00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:09,039 Doesn't sound good. 706 00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,960 No, you know, he's, I don't really know. 707 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:16,480 I just, with, you know, the influx of people coming in, 708 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:20,559 you know, this Rat King just like snuck in and now they're just, 709 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,119 you know, they're just dogs. 710 00:36:23,119 --> 00:36:25,840 Look, they stole my wand of smiles. 711 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,960 What could they want with a wand of smiles? 712 00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:30,159 Maybe they're really unhappy. 713 00:36:31,519 --> 00:36:34,079 Well, I mean, I could just make them smile. 714 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:36,000 They didn't have to steal it. 715 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,119 Maybe what makes them happy is a thrill of stealing stuff for nothing. 716 00:36:42,639 --> 00:36:45,599 But I mean, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Sully? 717 00:36:45,599 --> 00:36:46,079 What do you mean? 718 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:47,199 What? 719 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:48,480 Hold on. 720 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:51,360 I just, I think I heard the cat and I like wander off. 721 00:36:54,400 --> 00:37:01,599 Yeah, I mean, look, I'm looking at all of you as a group. 722 00:37:01,599 --> 00:37:03,679 And like, do you have your weapons on? 723 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:05,360 Yeah, I think so. 724 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:05,679 And stuff. 725 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:07,760 I think we're all geared up. 726 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:09,440 Or at least I shouldn't speak for them. 727 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:10,559 I'm all geared up. 728 00:37:10,559 --> 00:37:11,440 Sully doesn't have too much gear. 729 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,519 I mean, I don't have a lot of gear, but I'm wearing it all, so. 730 00:37:13,519 --> 00:37:13,760 Yeah. 731 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:19,040 You look competent. 732 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:23,600 Are you sure? 733 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,600 That's never been said about us before. 734 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:27,920 Nope. 735 00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:29,120 Try again. 736 00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:32,480 You look. 737 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:33,360 Here. 738 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,320 You look like you're not too busy. 739 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:37,280 You look available. 740 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:38,400 Yes, you're available. 741 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:39,520 You don't look busy. 742 00:37:39,519 --> 00:37:50,400 See, what say, you know, I got the dockside business owner association together 743 00:37:51,360 --> 00:38:00,159 and we offered a reward, you know, to take down this rat king and get my Wanda smiles. 744 00:38:01,119 --> 00:38:02,239 Sully comes back. 745 00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:03,920 So did I hear something about a reward? 746 00:38:05,519 --> 00:38:05,840 Yeah. 747 00:38:07,519 --> 00:38:08,719 This came out as W's. 748 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:10,960 It's okay. 749 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:12,159 Sully has a little speech impediment. 750 00:38:12,159 --> 00:38:13,039 Now he's so excited. 751 00:38:13,679 --> 00:38:18,000 Well, it does sound like this rat king is just a real nefarious character. 752 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:24,000 So I always am trying to stop, you know, the bad people from doing bad things 753 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,960 and stealing smile sounds like just about the worst thing you could do. 754 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:28,159 So it is. 755 00:38:28,159 --> 00:38:33,119 I mean, how many people does this like, they come into my shop to have their day brightened. 756 00:38:33,199 --> 00:38:38,000 And, you know, sometimes that's all someone needs is a smile 757 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,359 and their entire day can be changed for the better. 758 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:45,599 This is a travesty. 759 00:38:45,599 --> 00:38:46,639 Well, I'm sold. 760 00:38:47,679 --> 00:38:49,519 Plus, tell me how big can he possibly be? 761 00:38:49,519 --> 00:38:50,079 He's a rat. 762 00:38:51,199 --> 00:38:52,960 Rats are like, he's a king. 763 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:53,199 Okay. 764 00:38:53,199 --> 00:38:53,920 So like what? 765 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:54,480 Like this big? 766 00:38:55,679 --> 00:38:57,839 So he's moving his hands back and forth. 767 00:38:57,839 --> 00:38:59,599 This is great for an audio media. 768 00:39:01,279 --> 00:39:02,079 Good job, baby. 769 00:39:02,799 --> 00:39:06,880 The door chimes and a customer comes in 770 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:11,199 and they kind of look like they're urgently waiting to get your attention. 771 00:39:11,199 --> 00:39:12,319 To get a smile. 772 00:39:12,319 --> 00:39:14,079 Oh, excuse me. 773 00:39:14,639 --> 00:39:16,000 Yes, hello. 774 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:21,679 Yes, I need a scroll and then start walking with you over to the scroll rack 775 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:26,159 to make somebody disappear. 776 00:39:29,199 --> 00:39:30,480 Invisibility? 777 00:39:33,039 --> 00:39:36,559 See, I was talking like banishment. 778 00:39:36,559 --> 00:39:39,039 Well, I was like, I was like wronged. 779 00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:42,000 So I want to get rid of them. 780 00:39:47,199 --> 00:39:55,279 Yeah, so I don't have anything quite like that, but I do have. 781 00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,159 We'll say that their conversation fades out 782 00:39:58,159 --> 00:40:01,440 and you three can kind of talk amongst yourselves for a moment. 783 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:01,679 All right. 784 00:40:01,679 --> 00:40:06,559 Well, I think the most important thing right now is the question we're all wondering. 785 00:40:06,559 --> 00:40:07,679 Stopping the wrongdoers. 786 00:40:08,639 --> 00:40:08,880 What? 787 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:10,960 Stopping the wrongdoers? 788 00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:12,320 Is that the most important thing right now? 789 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:13,599 I was going to say you're going to get rid of that beard. 790 00:40:13,599 --> 00:40:15,200 Yeah, I was kind of thinking about the scroll. 791 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:20,000 Oh, okay. 792 00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,159 Okay, but we're going to help her. 793 00:40:22,159 --> 00:40:23,599 Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. 794 00:40:23,599 --> 00:40:25,760 But I mean, won't you be able to help her better 795 00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:27,200 without worrying about a sweaty beard? 796 00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:30,159 I mean, you're probably right. 797 00:40:30,159 --> 00:40:35,679 Okay, so maybe is there like an open counter space or something? 798 00:40:35,679 --> 00:40:39,839 Because what I'd like to do now that I know I can donate this beard hair to orphans 799 00:40:40,559 --> 00:40:42,559 is open like a handkerchief or something. 800 00:40:43,359 --> 00:40:44,719 Because I'm assuming I'm going to read it. 801 00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:45,839 It's just going to like fall out. 802 00:40:45,839 --> 00:40:47,519 Yeah, it's going to fall off in one chunk. 803 00:40:48,079 --> 00:40:48,319 Sure. 804 00:40:49,679 --> 00:40:50,719 Oh, I didn't think that. 805 00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:51,839 That seems so gross. 806 00:40:51,839 --> 00:40:55,039 I thought it would like poof away, but no, it's just going to. 807 00:40:55,039 --> 00:40:57,440 Like a dandelion, like it would all just come out. 808 00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:58,880 Otherwise, what are they going to cut out? 809 00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:00,480 Little wigs? 810 00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,320 I don't know what they're doing with the hair anyway. 811 00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:03,840 How long is your beard? 812 00:41:04,559 --> 00:41:05,920 It's the big bushy beard. 813 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:12,000 So, yeah, I unfold a napkin or like just a handkerchief. 814 00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:18,559 Yeah, a handkerchief and pull out the scroll and kind of lean over and then 815 00:41:19,519 --> 00:41:22,480 read through the scroll while doing, you know, my like. 816 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:25,599 Little bunny foo foo. 817 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,440 Cut it out. 818 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:30,239 I assume that's what the hand signals are. 819 00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:30,880 Things like that. 820 00:41:33,759 --> 00:41:35,679 Do you want to make her make up words, don't you? 821 00:41:35,679 --> 00:41:36,639 Do I roll for beard? 822 00:41:36,639 --> 00:41:38,559 No, I'd roll for arcana. 823 00:41:38,559 --> 00:41:39,759 Just see how you do. 824 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:46,559 Okay, that's a five. 825 00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:51,759 You get to the end of the scroll and nothing happens. 826 00:41:51,760 --> 00:42:00,400 Hmm, I don't I don't seem very moot. 827 00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:03,760 Maybe, you know, this is like magic and that's really like you're kind of the 828 00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:05,040 best at that kind of thing. 829 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,440 Would you mind trying to do this? 830 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:08,800 I can totally give it a shot. 831 00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:11,520 This is so I've never used a scroll before. 832 00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:12,480 This is very exciting. 833 00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,120 Have you ever read a book before moot? 834 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:16,320 Oh, yeah, tons. 835 00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:17,680 Oh, I think it's very similar. 836 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:21,440 It's just this is one piece of paper instead of a whole bunch of pieces of paper. 837 00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:21,920 That's true. 838 00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:22,800 This is just the one. 839 00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:24,720 All right. 840 00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:26,240 Would you like me to roll for this, Russ? 841 00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:27,119 Yeah, arcana. 842 00:42:27,119 --> 00:42:32,320 Okay, that is a 16. 843 00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:39,760 So describe to me what moot does better than glim in the success of this scroll reading. 844 00:42:40,559 --> 00:42:45,840 Moot manages to really nail the hand gestures that were like, you know, 845 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:49,280 reading it and doing it all, you know, to yourself is one thing, 846 00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,600 but reading and doing to someone else is a whole other one. 847 00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,519 And moot just totally nails this bad boy. 848 00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,600 I think he had to be fair. 849 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,040 I also have less fingers. 850 00:42:57,040 --> 00:43:00,560 So like, I feel like it's maybe a bit racist against Dragonborn. 851 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:04,160 I probably need five fingers to be able to do this really effectively. 852 00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:04,560 Yeah. 853 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:09,120 Well, when you had to do this and then you were just like this. 854 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:09,920 Exactly. 855 00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:16,640 There's an aura that comes about and presents itself around your beard. 856 00:43:17,599 --> 00:43:19,039 Oh, it's so fucking magical. 857 00:43:21,279 --> 00:43:28,319 And it falls off with a thud into the handkerchief. 858 00:43:29,599 --> 00:43:31,759 It's like it just like it was pulled off, 859 00:43:31,759 --> 00:43:35,199 like it was a like a prop wig and is now in your hands. 860 00:43:35,199 --> 00:43:39,119 Does it make a nice like sound or anything when it goes off? 861 00:43:39,119 --> 00:43:39,839 When it removes? 862 00:43:42,159 --> 00:43:42,319 Yep. 863 00:43:42,319 --> 00:43:46,400 They're all really gross images and sounds for 8 o'clock in the morning. 864 00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:48,720 It seems really gross. 865 00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:52,320 I don't know why it's so much grosser as One Piece, but it really is. 866 00:43:53,599 --> 00:43:56,559 But anyway, I sort of touch my face and like, 867 00:43:56,559 --> 00:43:58,400 oh, moot, thank you. 868 00:43:58,400 --> 00:43:59,200 You did it. 869 00:43:59,200 --> 00:43:59,680 You did it. 870 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:00,480 How do I look? 871 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:02,559 Do I have like a slight tan line? 872 00:44:02,559 --> 00:44:06,320 A little dragon scale tan line. 873 00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:12,960 And I fold the handkerchief over my weird solid beard. 874 00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,200 We cut back into the conversation half and he's like, 875 00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:18,240 you're telling me you can't make people disappear, 876 00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:21,120 but you made her beard just go like that's all I need. 877 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:22,320 It's just the person just to go. 878 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,480 I don't deal in murder. 879 00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:28,480 That's not what I'm saying. 880 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:29,840 They can go somewhere. 881 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:30,640 You know what? 882 00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:31,600 I'll go down the street. 883 00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,320 There's a there's a warlock who said he might be able to do it. 884 00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:37,520 You just I'll come back if it doesn't work out. 885 00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:38,240 Hey, hold on, buddy. 886 00:44:38,240 --> 00:44:39,920 How did how did he how were you wronged? 887 00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:43,600 I had this I had this cool little trinket. 888 00:44:43,599 --> 00:44:47,759 It was given to me from my father's mother's granddaughter. 889 00:44:50,319 --> 00:44:54,559 My sister doing the math. 890 00:44:56,159 --> 00:44:58,559 Everyone just stops for a full like minute and it's like 891 00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:01,839 everyone's head's tilted to the side. 892 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,039 And it was supposed to be mine. 893 00:45:05,039 --> 00:45:07,599 And now I just I just she's not giving it back. 894 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:11,599 You want to disappear your sister because she stole your trinket? 895 00:45:11,599 --> 00:45:12,099 Yeah. 896 00:45:12,500 --> 00:45:13,539 Yeah, sounds fair to me. 897 00:45:13,539 --> 00:45:14,179 Good luck, buddy. 898 00:45:15,779 --> 00:45:16,279 Thanks. 899 00:45:16,819 --> 00:45:17,460 And he leaves. 900 00:45:18,900 --> 00:45:19,940 That guy's crazy. 901 00:45:20,819 --> 00:45:24,420 Yeah, that's why I wouldn't sell him a scroll to make someone go poof. 902 00:45:25,380 --> 00:45:29,059 So who calls their sister their father's father's granddaughter? 903 00:45:31,460 --> 00:45:33,539 Someone who doesn't like their sister. 904 00:45:33,539 --> 00:45:34,179 I guess so. 905 00:45:34,980 --> 00:45:35,619 She's that far removed. 906 00:45:35,619 --> 00:45:38,019 Not really trying to distance that relationship. 907 00:45:38,019 --> 00:45:38,519 You're right. 908 00:45:39,539 --> 00:45:40,579 Bombera, you did it. 909 00:45:40,579 --> 00:45:43,860 Look at look at my look at my clean, scaly face. 910 00:45:43,860 --> 00:45:46,099 That is wonderful. 911 00:45:46,099 --> 00:45:49,299 And she she goes to reach to give it a pat. 912 00:45:49,299 --> 00:45:51,539 And then it's like, oh, sorry. 913 00:45:52,420 --> 00:45:53,139 Shouldn't do that. 914 00:45:53,940 --> 00:45:54,819 No, it's OK. 915 00:45:54,819 --> 00:45:55,539 Go ahead. 916 00:45:55,539 --> 00:45:59,219 Oh, oh, nice and smooth claim. 917 00:45:59,219 --> 00:46:00,500 Not so much with the boundaries. 918 00:46:00,500 --> 00:46:01,000 She's fine. 919 00:46:01,940 --> 00:46:06,099 So this Rat King, this terrible evil doer, the Rat King. 920 00:46:06,099 --> 00:46:07,860 Yes, the Rat King. 921 00:46:07,860 --> 00:46:11,620 A bane, a bane on this ward. 922 00:46:12,820 --> 00:46:16,500 I think that we love banishing evil. 923 00:46:16,500 --> 00:46:18,180 It's like our whole thing. 924 00:46:18,180 --> 00:46:21,300 So I think we probably want to help. 925 00:46:21,300 --> 00:46:22,820 Suddenly look at each other. 926 00:46:22,820 --> 00:46:26,500 Is there like, yeah, kind of, but not my whole thing. 927 00:46:26,500 --> 00:46:27,860 We did it once. 928 00:46:27,860 --> 00:46:29,140 We did it that one time. 929 00:46:29,140 --> 00:46:31,059 All of our favorite things. 930 00:46:32,260 --> 00:46:34,579 Oh, well, that's excellent. 931 00:46:35,299 --> 00:46:38,900 The Dockside Business Association. 932 00:46:38,900 --> 00:46:40,099 So the DBA. 933 00:46:41,059 --> 00:46:46,340 I'm sure I can get them to to give give a reward. 934 00:46:46,340 --> 00:46:47,059 Not a problem. 935 00:46:47,699 --> 00:46:48,819 We could give you. 936 00:46:52,340 --> 00:46:53,539 She does some math in her head. 937 00:46:57,059 --> 00:46:58,420 500 gold. 938 00:47:00,579 --> 00:47:02,579 That sounds like a pretty good amount of gold, guys. 939 00:47:03,219 --> 00:47:04,099 Yeah, I totally agree. 940 00:47:04,179 --> 00:47:05,380 How many turnovers? 941 00:47:05,380 --> 00:47:06,900 Oh, well, when you put it that way. 942 00:47:08,739 --> 00:47:11,860 That's like seven turnovers at that fancy bakery you like. 943 00:47:12,659 --> 00:47:16,259 Oh, are you talking about the Star Moon or the Moon and Stars? 944 00:47:16,259 --> 00:47:17,619 The Sun and Stars Bakery. 945 00:47:17,619 --> 00:47:18,579 The Sun and Stars. 946 00:47:18,579 --> 00:47:19,539 Oh, it's so good. 947 00:47:20,420 --> 00:47:23,059 You know, I went there the other day. 948 00:47:23,059 --> 00:47:25,860 They had some perfect croissants. 949 00:47:27,139 --> 00:47:29,539 I've been fixated on the Apple turnovers. 950 00:47:30,900 --> 00:47:33,460 Try the croissants and dip them in chocolate. 951 00:47:35,059 --> 00:47:38,739 Oh, it's mine just exploded. 952 00:47:40,819 --> 00:47:44,579 Bombera, do you think you mentioned that charity that would take the beard? 953 00:47:44,579 --> 00:47:49,699 I wonder if you could while we go get the Rat King, maybe get them this. 954 00:47:49,699 --> 00:47:54,019 And I like drop the beard on the counter with I assume another solid bud. 955 00:47:55,860 --> 00:48:00,739 Yeah, I have to be the corner of the hankie and peer underneath it. 956 00:48:01,380 --> 00:48:03,940 Oh, well. 957 00:48:03,940 --> 00:48:04,980 Isn't that a sight? 958 00:48:05,860 --> 00:48:07,300 Yes, can do. 959 00:48:08,099 --> 00:48:08,579 Can do. 960 00:48:08,579 --> 00:48:09,780 Thank you so much. 961 00:48:09,780 --> 00:48:12,579 Your helper, Theobald. 962 00:48:12,579 --> 00:48:13,380 Theobald. 963 00:48:13,380 --> 00:48:13,940 Theobald. 964 00:48:13,940 --> 00:48:14,980 He comes back to us today. 965 00:48:14,980 --> 00:48:17,220 Oh, that was a great breakfast. 966 00:48:17,220 --> 00:48:19,380 Why do you have a clump full of hair? 967 00:48:20,980 --> 00:48:24,500 Oh, Theobald, just the person I wanted to see. 968 00:48:24,500 --> 00:48:28,340 Could you go please bring this to Wigs for Kids? 969 00:48:29,380 --> 00:48:30,099 Wigs for Kids? 970 00:48:30,099 --> 00:48:31,539 They're still in operation. 971 00:48:31,539 --> 00:48:35,380 I thought they were shut down a while ago because kids don't actually need wigs. 972 00:48:36,259 --> 00:48:38,179 I think they're still there. 973 00:48:38,179 --> 00:48:40,900 Please go bring this to them. 974 00:48:40,900 --> 00:48:41,860 Okay, will do. 975 00:48:44,179 --> 00:48:47,380 It feels unnatural, but okay. 976 00:48:48,500 --> 00:48:49,300 He heads out. 977 00:48:50,900 --> 00:48:52,500 You sticking around or you heading out? 978 00:48:54,019 --> 00:48:56,579 Oh, I'm here until the watch come. 979 00:48:57,539 --> 00:48:58,340 Okay, cool. 980 00:48:59,380 --> 00:49:00,019 And he leaves. 981 00:49:00,980 --> 00:49:07,059 Well, do you got any hot tips for us on where we can start looking for this rat king? 982 00:49:08,500 --> 00:49:15,460 Well, they're down by, I mean, I know this is the docks, but if you go to the dock docks, 983 00:49:16,420 --> 00:49:26,659 the pier, there's some like sewage docks, tunnels, whatever those are called, 984 00:49:26,659 --> 00:49:29,539 some sewers, sewer exit points. 985 00:49:29,539 --> 00:49:30,739 Sewage ducks? 986 00:49:30,739 --> 00:49:31,699 Like an aqua-duct? 987 00:49:31,699 --> 00:49:32,659 What are we talking about here? 988 00:49:32,659 --> 00:49:38,739 Oh, I thought like a quack, like a sewage duck, like the god in the entrance. 989 00:49:40,259 --> 00:49:45,380 Well, you know what, it wouldn't surprise me if they were there. 990 00:49:46,179 --> 00:49:49,940 Do you think these bad guys have trained ducks to guard the entrance to their lair? 991 00:49:50,820 --> 00:49:54,019 Well, I mean, you can have killer geese, so why not ducks? 992 00:49:54,019 --> 00:49:54,980 Despicable. 993 00:49:54,980 --> 00:49:55,619 Fair point. 994 00:49:56,420 --> 00:49:59,940 Ducks need to be fluffy and yellow. 995 00:50:00,900 --> 00:50:04,099 We need to get some really nice dish soap to clean these. 996 00:50:04,739 --> 00:50:06,339 They must be stopped. 997 00:50:06,339 --> 00:50:07,940 To the docks, docks. 998 00:50:08,579 --> 00:50:09,299 You wanna come? 999 00:50:10,099 --> 00:50:12,579 Would you like to reap justice for yourself? 1000 00:50:13,619 --> 00:50:14,579 I'll hold them down. 1001 00:50:16,500 --> 00:50:20,500 Unless you're from here, you'd know people would probably be happy to talk to you. 1002 00:50:20,500 --> 00:50:22,739 You're this wonderful established business person. 1003 00:50:22,739 --> 00:50:24,500 We just got to town a week ago. 1004 00:50:24,500 --> 00:50:26,179 You can put Toby in charge of the store. 1005 00:50:26,900 --> 00:50:29,780 Toby, I do not trust that cat. 1006 00:50:31,539 --> 00:50:34,900 Actually, Toby's gonna be stopping by for lunch soon. 1007 00:50:34,900 --> 00:50:36,260 Okay, fine. 1008 00:50:36,260 --> 00:50:41,699 I'll tell you what, let me go get Toby his lunch and then I will be 1009 00:50:42,659 --> 00:50:49,619 right with you and we can go find this rat king and I can give him a piece of my mind. 1010 00:50:49,619 --> 00:50:50,119 Yeah! 1011 00:50:50,980 --> 00:50:52,579 I'd say you'd make him smile, 1012 00:50:52,579 --> 00:50:55,139 but I think that goes against what we're trying to do here. 1013 00:50:58,579 --> 00:51:01,139 She just stares at you. 1014 00:51:22,579 --> 00:51:45,539 The Songs Long Road Ahead, Umbrella Pants and Sneaky Snitch are by Kavin McLeod of 1015 00:51:45,539 --> 00:51:47,940 incompetech.filmmusic.io. 1016 00:51:47,940 --> 00:51:50,179 A huge thank you to our supporting producers, 1017 00:51:50,180 --> 00:51:54,260 Gabriel Lynch, Ryan Cushman, Cat Waterflame, and Jacob Madden. 1018 00:51:54,260 --> 00:51:57,540 Find out more at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. 1019 00:51:58,340 --> 00:52:04,340 Bombera, what do you do when you get the shop going? 1020 00:52:04,340 --> 00:52:05,460 Are we in the shop? 1021 00:52:05,460 --> 00:52:06,500 No, you're not in the shop. 1022 00:52:07,460 --> 00:52:09,140 We were all ready and like, should I jump in? 1023 00:52:09,140 --> 00:52:10,180 Am I in the shop? 1024 00:52:10,180 --> 00:52:11,380 I open the door to the shop. 1025 00:52:11,380 --> 00:52:12,580 Get the fuck away. 1026 00:52:12,580 --> 00:52:15,700 I guess I broke into the shop and now I'm gonna run it. 1027 00:52:15,700 --> 00:52:17,780 The little bell dings as I open the door. 1028 00:52:17,780 --> 00:52:18,580 What's happening? 1029 00:52:18,579 --> 00:52:20,019 How far in the future are we? 1030 00:52:20,019 --> 00:52:22,259 We have whole new lives where we're shop keeps now. 1031 00:52:31,779 --> 00:52:32,579 Squash that. 1032 00:52:32,579 --> 00:52:34,019 Actually, no, let it run. 1033 00:52:34,019 --> 00:52:35,619 You can make all the sounds you want. 1034 00:52:35,619 --> 00:52:41,699 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.